5.03 AM 12/27/2023 Wed
Hey Reg,
In the summer of 2022 I wrote open letters to Bernard Riley, Gamechanger & Gabe A., detailing my stance to them all before parting ways. Looking back on those open letters now as 2023 winds down, I was struck by just how prescient my words have become. So, since I'm on something of a roll in that regard, I thought to make it a "fourpeat", and write you one. I had been long thinking about this, because I wanted to really take my time with my thoughts and find the right words to convey. Besides, it's been a long time coming, since I've known you for the better part of eight years - and time does give one a sense of perspective.
So, here's the deal, Reg: It's time that someone told you the truth, because you need it. And the truth is this - you have done absolutely nothing with your life for the better part of a decade, possibly longer. You are for all intents and purposes, an alcoholic - a sign of self-medicating, escapist behaviors indicative of an addict, guzzling large amounts of beer on a regular basis. As a result, you've gained a considerable amount of weight that, along with your sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits, doesn't look good on you.
Your love and romantic life are virtually nonexistent - according to your own accounts, you were once married and have since divorced, a very long time ago, and no evidence exists that you have moved on in that regard in the least. You have no kids, and you care for your aged mother presumably in her home and not yours. You have sat in her kitchen, with minimal upgrades in renovations, over the entire course of the past eight years that I'm aware of, just waiting for your mother to die. That may sound harsh, but I assure you it's not; after all, I'm no stranger to death or the loss of loved ones. My own mom died two decades ago.
You bear all the markings of what's wrong with the Black Manosphere, Reg - and no matter how much you try to deny you're being a part of it, the fact that you can discuss little else, makes you a part of it. So, since you want to be a part of it so very badly, and since I'm moving on into the new year with new plans, aims, goals and dreams, I thought to tell you a bit about yourself on my way out the 2023 door.
The truth of the matter is that you are the result of your thoughts and actions, the latter of which we've just detailed. Now it's time to deal with the former. In the past eight years that I've known of you, you have been filled with nothing but fear. I know you'll deny it, just like you deny everything else in your life, constantly running from the truth. But you cannot hide from yourself, and eventually, the truth of it all will come back to you - one way or another. Your fear accounts for how and why you act the way that you do - sure, you'll frame it as just "reporting the news" which barely passes for gossip; or how you're just offering a contrarian opinion and critique on thus and so, which is a thinly veiled, dead giveaway for your envy of others who have made something of themselves.(1) It never occurs to you to see what you can learn from those who have succeeded where you have failed so you can improve your own life; instead, you continue to live in denial and peddle in low grade hate.
In the eight years since we both landed on YouTube, we have taken completely different paths - and of all the people that you routinely discuss on your "show" I think anyone who is familiar with you will rightly agree with me that I take center stage in your mind and life for some reason. I think it's because in the minds of many Black men(!), I'm not supposed to win - I'm a short, high school educated, blue collar guy who nevertheless went on to become one of the founding fathers of the Black Manosphere, wrote a number one bestselling book about how guys like me can become the best versions of themselves, have headed up what has now become a tradition in the Black Manosphere Conclave, and have completely transformed and reinvented myself, all right before your very eyes. Slowly but surely, I am becoming the face of the Black Manosphere and beyond. On top of that and much to your chagrin, I have a lady in my life who, as one of your regular panel members, Big Game Orenthal James said, actually respects me - and that really chaps you and your compatriots' hides. Of all the people you routinely discuss with thinly veiled jealousy - Angryman, Oshay Duke Jackson and especially Kevin Samuels - I really bother you the most. I think the reason why is because I'm not supposed to have accomplished what I've done, whereas you're more comfortable with others doing so, even while you hate on them for being the men you will never be. But it's a special kind of kick to the head that someone like myself can make good, while you continue to stagnate in just about every conceiveable way.
What's truly sad is that the people you surround yourself with, all know what I'm saying is true, they just won't dare say it to your face, virtual or otherwise. And for good reason - you've already proven yourself unable to handle harsh truths about yourself. You can and will block, bar or outright ban anyone who was foolish enough to do so. And so, they can and will continue to watch you slowly destroy yourself, which is unconscionable in my view. The old adage about you being the sum total of the five people you routinely surround yourself is oh-so-true - I can personally attest to that myself - and it's no accident that the "starting five" are in many ways, just like you. We all attract who and what we are to ourselves, after all - and if all you put out into the world is envy, jealousy and hate, can you really be surprised if that's all you attract in return? True friends want the best for us, and are willing to tell us hard truths about ourselves when we're effing up; and what occurs to me is that you don't have any friends. At best, you have sycophants and enablers. On the other hand, I've been blessed and fortunate to have Black men in my life who not only support me, but keeps a foot in my backside because they truly do want the best for me. It accounts for how and why I've been able to grow over the past eight years in general and the past three in particular. Kevin, Shannon, Theo, Jason and others, have been that kick to the backside that I needed at various times in my life.
In those rare moments of vulnerability and honesty, you will say that your problem with me is that I think that I'm better than everyone else, that I'm a braggart and so on; I will certainly be the first to admit that I'm quite the vainglorious fellow, LOL. But what I think what escapes you is the fact that I refuse to apologize for merely existing; for being successful at what I do; or that I refuse to hide my own light under a bushel in order to make under achievers like you feel better about yourselves. Indeed and if anything, I want my own personal success in my chosen life path and endeavors to be a glaring reminder of what guys like you aren't doing in your own, and that you need to get busy. It's no accident that as I have achieved every goal I've set for myself - and quite a few others that I didn't even know about - you've been Johnny On The Spot in your condemnation, recrimination and "critique" - all of which displays an incredible amount of equal parts denial and hubris, given that you're absolutely in no position whatsoever to be my judge, jury or executioner, let alone anyone else's.
Why am I even bothering to write this open letter to you, Reg? After all, you have no demonstrable impact on my life. You weren't able to stop me from helping to create the Black Manosphere; you weren't able to stop me being featured in Elle magazine last year; you weren't able to stop me from becoming a number one bestselling author; you weren't able to stop any of the past three conclaves; and you weren't able to stop me from being on the Playboard's top 100 list a whopping eight times this year, either. So, why bother?
Well, the answer to that question should by now be obvious: Because I care about Black men, and you are one. And I'm sick and tired of watching Black men like you slowly wither on the vines of life in not so quiet desperation, that's why. Everything I've done over the past eight years - my actions - have borne out my words here. No matter how much you grumble to the contrary.
But, you're an extraordinarily stubborn guy, Reg. And contrary to your and others' opinions, I actually like being surprised when I'm wrong about something. Keeps life interesting, that's for sure. So, surprise me Reg - instead of doggedly doubling down on your do-nothing-but-drink-yourself-into-another-mumbling-stupor on the air, why don't you actually DO something different as the new year rings in? Stop drinking, clean up your diet, and learn how to make money with the one thing you spend hours of your life doing? Dress better, speak clearly, and actually get a social life? Plan for life after your mother is gone? And get rid of the "opps" around you - they mean you no good, heck they don't even financially support you like that. They are literally sucking the lifeblood out of you. Yeah, surprise me Reg, and instead of doing what you've always done, how about you actually doing something completely different for a change? Instead of constantly sneering at brothers who have succeeded, how about just listening to what they have to say?
Shall I hold my breath, or nah?
"Fear is the path to the dark side; fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering."
-Yoda
Have a great 2024, "Darth Reg".
Mumia Obsidian Ali
Dec 27, 2023
Philly, PA
ENDNOTES:
1. "Afterwords: Thoughts On My Interview With Ace Metaphor" https://black-manosphere.org/blogs/news/afterwords-thoughts-on-my-interview-with-ace-metaphor